Thursday, January 20, 2011

In thee, o Lord...

Should I be doing my song sheets for Voice?
Am I?

Should I be doing my Spanish or Chemistry or Psych or Western Thought homework?
Am I?

Should I be doing something Spring Sing related?
Am I?

You get the picture.

But I'm not doing any of those things because I just can't stop thinking about the way the Lord worked in my life yesterday and I just need to share it. The story I'm about to share isn't a big deal. In fact, it's a very small deal in the scheme of things. But if you can't trust Him in the small things - what can you trust  Him in?

So a situation arose yesterday that had me a little anxious. One of those times when you just look up and say, "Really, God? That's how You chose to handle this?"
(And don't I say that all the time? Like I created the universe and know how to work it perfectly? Sheesh.)
Anyway, I wasn't planning on going to Wednesday night Bible class because I was so tired, but the Spirit kept pushing me to go. Upon arrival, the situation that had arisen earlier in the day escalated slightly. Enough to make my stomach hurt. Enough to make me anxious. The panic attack was on its way. Because of this situation, I hadn't been listening to what song I was singing along with everyone else. But I decided to put it out of my mind and just be in the moment.

The first words I sang?

I will trust You. I will trust You alone. 

Trust. My word. My hard, little word. Will I really trust You alone?

Back to the situation (because my hard, little heart sometimes need a breakdown before it listens) - then back to the music.

Next words?

In thee, o Lord, I put my trust.

It happened with like 4 different songs before I finally got His message. (I mean, really? How many times can you sing about trust on a Wednesday night?)

I. Can. Trust. Him.

I can trust Him to fix the mundane situations I put myself in. I can trust Him to fix my broken relationships. I can trust Him to plan my future even when it seems overwhelming to me.

I can trust Him. 

And so today, just like this year, I choose trust.
And tomorrow, I'll choose trust again.
And again and again and again.
Because somehow I keep forgetting.

But how blessed am I to serve a God that never forgets to remind me? 


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